Poop Deck Gun Club

Wow. 2010 is just about in the books.

2010-12-24T17:55:00.000-08:00

This time last year I had a goal. It wasn't to cure the flu or anything, but it was still a goal. I was headed to the Sea Otter Classic, a huge yearly festival of road and mountain bike racing at Laguna Seca Raceway in April. It is also combined with a trade show, demos, and a few new bike film premieres. I was definitely looking forward to it.

As many of you know, I had taken some time off of work so as it happened I was really able to focus on my training. I had a new singlespeed build for me by Brendan at Siren Bicycles and was stoked to show it off. I got a camping spot a few hundred yards from the track and saw some good downhill racing, including a few SD friends who were there as well.

My race was one of the last of the festival, on Sunday. I managed to get some sleep the night before and attacked the course, placing 2nd in my category and about 20th overall in a field of a couple hundred. I also managed to fit in time to attend premieres of Ride the Divide and Follow Me. Both are highly recommended. Follow Me is in pretty heavy rotation at the house these days.

I also discovered Yoga this year and I must say to anyone who will listen, "give it a try". It's not just for twenty and thirty something ladies. My flexibility and strength have increased quite a bit this year. There are not many out there who would not benefit from a few hours of Yoga practice each week. I am lucky to have a great instructor who teaches a once a week class at my local gym. I have not yet had to go to one of the millions of Yoga studios around town but I am sure someday I will. I'm just not going to wear the workout pants that seem to be the uniform there.

Kreuger the wondermutt continues to be his puppy like self but is calming down a bit, month by month. People are amazed to hear he is almost nine, so I take this as a good thing. He should live a long, happy life.

In July I attended my 20th High School reunion. It was actually a lot less painful than I anticipated. I was able to catch up with some old friends and was pleasantly surprised to see that many of them seemed to still have their souls intact after twenty years of being functioning adults.

I made it a vacation road trip and headed north after that. I visited friends and Family in Oregon and Washington, then satisfied a desire of several years to ride Whistler. Here is a video of one of my favorite trails there, Dirt Merchant. After the trail ends you can connect it with Lower A Line. Twenty minutes or so of chair lift served paradise. Sorry, it's not me riding. No video of this trip.

I returned to work in August and am working in an office environment. It's basically Office Space except that my many bosses are armed. Other than that its pretty much the same. It's pretty comical. And don't worry, I'm not going to be cleaning fish on my desk anytime soon.

In November I made a serious purchase. One I had been thinking about for a while was a VW Vanagon Syncro Westfalia camper. I had been on the fence about this because they stopped making them in 1991, so the newest one you will ever find is 19 years old. My friend Lee made the decision for me. When I visited he and Kerry in Olympia, we drove up to Seattle to look around and get some riding in at The Colonnade bike park. We had a great time but were reminded of the rule to never take "one more run". Lee had a pretty badly bruised ankle so I got to drive the Syncro back to Olympia. I had a great time driving it. Once you are behind the wheel, you just naturally embrace the slow. It's a pretty nice ride. Well, I began the search and educational process. These are pretty quirky vehicles so there is a lot of information (some of it wrong) out there. I found one in Los Angeles that had been purchased by the current owner from a guy in San Diego. It had lots of maintenance and upgrades done with all the documentation so I picked it up. I'm not crazy about the color but it's definitely recognizable. And for the uninitiated a Syncro is all wheel drive and Westfalia means camper pop top with fridge, stove, and sink. Rad!

So here we are, it's the holidays. What to do? As it happens, Christmas Eve this year is also my Grandmother's 90th birthday. Why not take a road trip in the big red machine? Sounds great. I gave the cat to a friend for ten days, loaded up the wondermutt and headed north. Of course, around San Luis Obisbo some sort of off electrical issue cropped up and the motor started to have issues. I pulled into a European repair shop and as luck would have it, they had worked on the van before. The mechanic was unfortunately unable to determine exactly what was wrong, but the issue went away and I headed back. I made it to Redding in time to have a beer or two with my Dad and get a few hours sleep. The next morning I headed north to Bend. I knew there was going to be some weather around Mt. Shasta, and mother nature did not disappoint. Luckily, poor weather is exactly what the Syncro was designed for so I had no problem for the rest of the haul to Bend.

I also visited a few of the local breweries and watering holes, mostly to do research for a business concept I am working on. More on that later.

So here I sit, egg nog in hand and wondermutt nearby writing a quick rundown of the year's events. Of course I left some stuff out. Bad bike crashes with possibly (but ignored) broken bones. A few weddings attended. Some mistakes and some triumphs. All part of the life that was my life in 2010.

That's me, on the bow of my friend Bart's boat Shine On. Looking for 2011.

Happy New Year!

Downhilling in SD

2010-08-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

So, here is a little video I put together from a day at some possibly illegal jumps and trails in San Diego. I say possibly illegal because no one really knows. I choose to err on the side of having fun, so I will continue to ride there until otherwise notified by the authorities.

Video is filmed on a Contour 1080i HD helmet cam. I had the camera mounted on my goggles for expediency sake (I got the camera 2 hours before the session) , but it will be more solid next time. Most of the video is filmed by me, with the exception of about 2:20 in, where my friend Brian is following me. Brian is really fast, and was on a hard tail bike, meaning he was having to come up short on many of the jumps because he was following slow-ass Scott. Coming up short on a gap jump on a hard tail hurts. That is why he has to stop part way through the run....Oh, well.

The first drop doesn't look it, but it is about 10 feet from the take off down to the landing. It's a little hairy the first few times. In fact, some of you may remember how beat up I was for a few weeks after the 4th of July. That pain and suffering was inflicted by this drop when I braked late and basically free fell onto my front wheel and my body pile drove my head and shoulder into the ground.

Somewhere in SD

Thanks! More to follow. Music is Session and Dirty Magic from The Offspring. Sorry if anyone is offended by the lyrics.

John Henry vs Sea Otter

2010-04-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

It has been a while (again since I did anything here (again) so here I go.

In January at a cross-country race I talked to a friend, Brendan Collier about a new offering he had in his line of bikes. Brendan owns Siren Bicycles, and makes beautiful mountain bike frames. Up until recently he only worked with aluminum. He now was offering a steel bike named after John Henry, the Steel Drivin’ Man. He also was working with a new top tube shape that included a constant radius arc. It looked really good. A few weeks later I talked to Brendan on the phone and worked out the details on the bike. His stock XL bike was almost identical size wise to the bike I was currently on, and it fit me well. We worked out the details on color, dropout options, and tubing.

I was still running a suspension fork up front, and planned to send the fork up to be powdercoated to match the frame. I never planned on putting gears on the bike, so we would set it up and singlespeed only. Brendan offered me a really good deal on the frame and asked only that I do a write up on it in return. Good deal.

I sent off a check as a deposit a month later and continued to ride. I realized the Sea Otter Classic was coming up in April, and I had always wanted to go. Sea Otter is at the Laguna Seca Raceway in Monterey and is a combination mountain/road race series and bike product expo. There was also going to be a World Premiere of a Film Called “Follow Me”. I had already planned to show Follow Me in San Diego as a benefit for the San Diego County Bicycle Coalition so this would work out perfectly.

I began to train a lot, and started to get fit. I realized I would need to send the fork off to be powdercoated and borrowed a rigid steel fork from a friend so I could keep riding. This turned out to be very important. I really liked the rigid fork, and found I didn't have a need for the suspension fork. I ordered a Niner steel fork and sent it up along with the Reba fork to be painted to match the frame.

Just in time for Sea Otter I drove up to the shop in Hemet and met with Brendan and his wife Mary and son Alex. As soon as I saw the frame it was bike love at first sight. I have never had a frame made just for me, and was really stoked to have a locally made frame. We poked around the shop and talked about what was on the burner for Siren. I headed home and that night headed to my friend Ernesto’s house and built the bike. I moved up to a 2.55 wide tire in the front for some added cushion and traction. The Chris King mango bottom bracket, headset, and hubs looked great against the cream white paint with metallic flake clear coat. The bike looks amazing.

BTW, when I was pulling the parts off of the Specialized to go onto the Siren, I discovered the frame was cracked at the drive side chainstay/seatstay junction. This probably was the source of the creaking I could not silence...

The next day I headed out to one of my favorite local trails and took off. I must say I am glad to be back on steel. The slight weight penalty and somewhat more flexible rear end is definitely worth the benefits of a plush ride.

Over the next week I rode the bike almost every day and loved it more every ride.

The following Thursday I headed off to Sea Otter. My friend Everett (aka Erv) was also racing there, albeit on the road so he rode shotgun. We made good time, and arrived at Laguna Seca at about 4 PM. Some friends who work for VAS Entertainment were there and shared the campsite for the night. VAS is the dominant distributor of action sports videos in the US. I met them at Interbike last September. We hung out around the fire and had beers and sandwiches until ten or so. Erv had a race in the morning, so we kept it under control.

The next morning I headed out to Erv’s start to see him off. It was a circuit race on the Laguna Seca raceway, so I went to the corkscrew to get shots of him there. After a few laps I headed back to the finish and took a few more shots. Unfortunately there had been a breakaway in the race that Erv had missed and the six guys who got away stayed away until the finish.

I headed to the expo and noticed a lot of people noticing my bike. It looks very distinctive with the rigid fork and curved top tube. Several people asked me if it was a Sycip, which I took as a compliment as Sycip is commonly known as a highly sought after custom frame maker.

I met up with my friends Keven, who is working as a race mechanic for the Intense/ODI team and JD Swanguen, who races for the team. After that it was back to camp for some lunch and then out onto the trail for a course pre-ride. I switched to a slightly tougher gear on the bike and headed out. The fist bit of singletrack was amazing. There was a tricky corner at the bottom of the first fast stretch that had gravel in it, and I suspected that would cause problems for more than one rider. The gear I had chosen was difficult but I suspected it would be good for the race and would help me on the flatter sections.

I got back to camp and had a quick bit of dinner with Erv, then headed into town for the Premiere of Follow Me. I met up with the VAS crew. We were sporting wigs, and got more than one stare from the Monterey tourists.

The film was amazing, and afterward we headed to a local bar for the after party. I stayed until about midnight then headed back to camp for some much needed sleep.

The next day Erv had the road race. I again saw him off and headed back to the expo. I got some good shots of the dual slalom races and downhill practice. JD had made the finals in pump track, so I got some shots of him there.

Back to camp again then off to Brendan and Mary’s place they had rented for dinner and a screening of Ride the Divide, a documentary of the Tour Divide race, which is a self supported mountain bike race from Banff, Canada to Antelope Wells, New Mexico on the border with Mexico. Mary is the only woman to complete the race, and it has only been completed by about 40 riders ever. The film producer Mike Dion was at the screening. Mike attempted the race the year it was filmed, but had to abandon.

We headed back to camp and I was able to get a solid six hours’ sleep before begging up for my race. My start was at 8 AM. I tend to get pretty warm so I braved the chilly weather with a sleeveless jersey. I ride up and down the climb to the corkscrew a few times and was able to get good and warm. All the Cat 3 racers were starting in waves, with my group rolling out first. The collegiate riders followed us. I knew I would want to get onto the dirt as quickly as possible to have a good shot to get onto the dirt with empty trail in front of me.

Our race started and we had to ride about two thirds of the racetrack before we got onto the dirt. I sat in on two fast guys at the front and drafted them around the track. I was able to get onto the dirt in about tenth, as some of the collegiate guys went past us pretty quickly. As I suspected, a rider who was having trouble on the singletrack held me up with three other guys. We got up onto a fire road and I began to hammer. I was feeling pretty good, and charged down the next downhill section, which was a very loose and sandy section. The sand was taking its toll on the younger riders and I managed to get through without being taken out by any of them as the panicked and hit their brakes.

The next climb was a really tough one and hurt quite a bit. I managed to get to the top without being passed by any singlespeeders. The first road climb arrived and I was indeed passed by the guy I had drafted on the track. I knew for certain he had been in front of me so I asked him how I had gotten in front of him. He had gone down hard on the gravel corner I had been concerned about. I then saw that his left hip, elbow, and knee were all pretty torn up. I was a strong rider and made good time up the hill. As he took off he told me I was in fourth.

I began to hear a loud noise that I was pretty sure was a broken spoke on my rear wheel. I stopped and checked, and sure enough fund the broken spoke I suspected. I wrapped it around its neighbors and continued on. On the next downhill I passed the guy who had crashed. He had gotten unnerved by his crash and was having trouble descending. I was treated a few minutes later by one of the collegiate riders attempting to ride through a giant mud bog as I went around it. (Note to racers: Always pre ride the course so you know about impassable hazards ahead of time) The kid went down hard, resulting in a very satisfying splash of mud and water. He got up covered with mud and a big smile. Gotta love kids. I kept riding and never saw him after that.

BTW, another side note. I saw a lot of guys roll up to the start on bikes covered in mud, and a lot of guys having shifting issues on their bikes. Why don’t people take a few minutes to prep their bikes before races? Granted I was racing the beginner class, but geez.....

I got to the last fire road climb and began to follow another singlespeeder. After about five minutes I saw his pedaling become more and more labored. I took a shot and made a pass. As I did, he asked me if I had anything for cramping. I told him no, and to drink as much water as possible. I hammered and dropped him. As I got to the top of the climb I realized I was done. I got back onto the track, looked back and saw no one. I rode the half mile down the hill to the finish hands off the bars and glad to be done. As I crossed the finish I heard the announcer call “Here’s your singlespeed winner all the way from San Diego, number 335 Scott Armstrong!” What??? Did I hear that right?

I stopped and was still wondering what had happed when another dude on a singlespeed asked me how I had done. I told him they announced me as the winner, but I was pretty sure he had beaten me. He agreed, and then the rest of the singlespeed flock began to arrive. He joked about for a few, and then I headed back to camp. I had a congratulatory shot of Jameson and a beer, and then got out of my race kit. Siren hadn’t had time to get race kits ordered so IU had ridden in a plain jersey with a Siren logo I sewed onto the back. I called Brendan and asked him if he was going to be able to get me a podium shirt. He said “definitely”, then asked, “you are on the podium?” “Yep. Second.” I then heard him tell Mary, “Scott got second!”

They made it to the venue in record time and I met them there with some beers. I shared beers with the rest of the singlespeed podium, and we sorted out the results. As it turned out, the guy who won had been registered in the wrong category. He filed a protest, which of course I agreed with. I want about to win on a technicality.

We were called back stage, and our group was second to receive our medals so there were a lot of folks out there watching. As it turned out I had the most vocal following as is fitting for San Diego mountain bikers. If we don’t win the race we win the party.

We headed out to watch some more downhill. I got some good photos then headed back to break down camp. It had been a long day, so I had Erv drive the last stretch after we stopped for some well-deserved In N Out.

Naturally, the next day it was back to being busy and I had a lot of work to do for the premiere of Follow Me. I was able to round up a lot of donations to the Bicycle Coalition in the form of raffle prizes and cash. Saturday night arrived and we had a really good turnout of about 140 people.

Not bad for a midnight showing in a town like San Diego where there are always about ten fun things to do on any given night.

Now that Sea Otter and the Follow Me premiere are done with I can get back to my usual schedule and plan the next event.

I just got a call from the local Rocky Mountain dealer that they will have an Altitude 29 demo bike for me Friday. Ahhh, bikes. It’s gonna be a good weekend.

Catching Up

2009-12-26T14:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been somewhat lax in keeping this Blog up to date (over a year), so here goes...

First off, I hope everyone's Holidays have been good so far. I for one am looking forward to the New Year.

Last Christmas (08) I was able to take a road trip up to Oregon by way of Redding. I took the wonder mutt. While I am sure he was excited to be hanging out with his Dad, he was very angry with being in the back of the truck, even with the camper shell on and his bed with him. The entire time he whined, growled, and barked through the pass through window. I spend one night in the Bay area with my friend Brian, who had just moved into a new place. Krueger decided to pee on Brian's nice clean carpet. Thanks, Pal.

Back into the truck we went for five more hours of a very large dog verbalizing his displeasure with being separated from his human. I was very happy to arrive in Redding. As was he, I have no doubt.

We stayed at my Dad's place and had a great two days. Krueger and my Dad's Lab, Max got along really well. My older German Shepherd, Wyatt died in September 2008, and while K and I have bonded more now that he is the only dog, I think he would like to have some company from time to time. I am moving in January, and my roommates have dogs, so he should be pretty well occupied from that time on.

It was interesting spending time in Redding. Things have changed quite a bit, and haven’t at the same time. It's still a small Northern California town. I am glad to have been raised there, but am also happy to have made it out. I may end up in a smaller town one day, but for now having all the things San Diego has to offer works for me.

We said goodbye, and I made the decision to move Krueger into the front of the truck. It's a 4-door truck, so he got the back seat to himself. He loved it. He slept and chewed on his bone the whole time.

As soon as we got to Mount Shasta, the snow began. Nothing serious, just flurries. I had purchased cable chains in Redding, as the snow was expected, but planned on not having to use them. The snow got more intense the farther north we went, but the little truck did great. I actually like driving in the snow, so it was fun. We stopped in Klamath Falls for fuel, and I exposed the mutt to his first taste of snow. He was a little surprised at first, and was having trouble finding a spot to pee, but he got over the awkwardness and went to town painting the town yellow.

We got back on the road and made out way up the 97. We arrived in Bend just in time for dinner. I unloaded the family truckster and re-introduced Krueger and my parents’ dog, Rio. I made myself at home in one of the spare bedrooms and proceeded to relax.

Christmas morning was amazing. We met up with John, a neighbor and his Husky, King for a hike in the snow out along the river. King is a very assertive dog, and he and Krueger got into it a few times, but as dogs generally do they got over it pretty fast. (The look on Krueger's face in this photo is priceless.)

The hike was beautiful, with fresh snow having fallen overnight and light snow as we hiked. We broke the law and had the dogs off leash most of the time, and the dogs loved it. There was a tense moment when Special K dared too close to the river's edge and slipped on the ice and into the water. I managed to grab him and haul him out before he was in any real danger. The air was dry and he dried out pretty quickly, but was a bit more careful when near the bank of the river. All told, we hiked about three hours and had a great time.

I spent a few more nights in Bend, and had a houseguest of my friend Sol, who had come into town from Berkeley with some of her friends. Soon it was time to go, and we loaded up the truck with gear and dog, and headed south through the snow. We managed to avoid disaster and arrived in Berkeley ready for sleep, then I continued home the next day. A good Christmas break.

After that it was back to work, on light duty, as I had injured my shoulder at work. Two MRIs later I was told that arthroscopic surgery could smooth the bone spurs in the shoulder and relieve the pain. I asked if the shoulder would get worse without the surgery and was told "probably not". I weighed the possibility of contracting something worse while in the hospital vs. putting up with occasional pain and decided on the latter. I don't like hospitals. Since it was a work injury they will fix it later if it actually does get worse. How nice of them.

Once I was cleared to work that meant another thing for me. I could surf again. And I did, and still am. Surfboarding is fun.

Valentines weekend Adams Avenue took a team back to The Old Pueblo for the 24-hour race. We didn't hope to win, and didn't but had a great time. We got smart this year and stayed an extra day so we could throw a few extra rides in. That made it a bit more worthwhile to drive out there with all that gear, just to have to pack and drive immediately after the race. We CAN learn.

I fulfilled a yearly promise to Tommy and made it out to Chicago for St. Patrick’s Day. Both the downtown and South Side Parades were on the same weekend this year and Oh Boy did I have a good time. Thanks Tommy!

In September I traveled to Las Vegas for Interbike and made some new friends and had drinks with Gary Fisher while my friends and I were dressed as cowboys. Silly Vegas fun. I volunteered at the New Belgium Brewing Tour de Fat and had an amazing time. There were 2500 attendees and we earned over ten thousand dollars for the San Diego County Bicycle Coalition. It will be even bigger next year. If there is one anywhere near where you live I highly recommend going.

A few weeks later, another road trip. This one up the coast to mountain bike and surf. The dog stayed at home. My friend and soon to be roommate Sonja has a cool dog named Jack, and took Jack and Krueger on walks and to dog parks for me. It's entirely possible that Krueger was sad to see me come home, because he really likes Jack. Back to the road trip. I got a late start and rolled into San Luis Obispo at about 1100 PM and sneaked into the State Campground at Morro Bay. The bay was a two-minute walk from my campsite.

Apparently I didn’t fool the camp hosts, who put a "please pay" note on the windshield as I slept. The State must really be hurting, because campsites are now $35.00 per night throughout California. I surfed both days and hung out with my friend Amy, whom I met in Vegas. I was able to get a fun ride in at Montana de Oro State Park.

Next it was on to Santa Cruz, where I stayed at Bob's Pine Grove Campground. Bob's is a privately owned campground that has only 15 sites, but has hot showers and is a five-minute pedal from downtown. There was a storm coming and I was the only camper. Jean, the owner was dubious that I would be crushed by falling trees, but allowed me to stay. I rode into town and found 99 Bottles on a recommendation from friends who had made the trip earlier in the year. Good times. I got back to camp in time for the rain. And rain it did. For a day and a half. I waited out the storm and caught a movie (Zombieland- hilarious), did a bunch of reading, and watched YouTube on the iPhone. Once it stopped raining I took a hike up the hill behind the campground toward the UCSC campus. It is so beautiful there. Redwoods, ferns, oaks, soft soil. All the things we rarely see here in the deserts of San Diego.

The next day I judged the trails dry enough to ride. I was correct. I took a long ride up to the campus, through the campus, and down to the beach where I watched a few guys ride overhead surf.

Then it was a loooong climb up the campus area. I managed to get sort of lost and located an obviously illegal trail that had Pro Downhill all over it. I imagine the Santa Cruz Syndicate riders know it well. At any rate, I rode up it, and didn't see anyone for about 45 minutes. I got back out to the highway and made my way back to campus, then poached the hiking trail I had been on the day before and made it back just in time for it to get very dark.

The next day I headed down to Pleasure Point and got in a very fun surf session now that the water had ceased to look like something from a baby's diaper. It was time to pack up and head up to the Bay Area to stay a few days with Sol.

Between a 21st Anniversary Party at Pacific Coast Brewing Company, which involved a block party with live music and beer being sold in the street and served in glasses it was a great time. There was no nonsense of a lame "beer garden" that the ABC imposes on such events in San Diego and two security guards, no police. Amazingly the world did not end, there were no fights or stabbings (In Oakland!) and everyone had a blast. The next day it was off to Marin for a long hike and run down the mountain followed by a birthday party in the Castro District. Good times.

Alas, it was soon time to head south. I packed again and made it to Ventura, where I paddled out into pretty crappy surf, but wanted to get in the water. I made it back to town after dusk and slept like a baby in my own bed.

Working nights, and off at 7:00 AM, I decided surfing after work is really cool. The surf was good for several weeks and I managed to get into good shape. I did a mountain bike race and somehow did NOT finish in last place, and had a good time doing it, though racing Expert may have been a bit over my head. Oh well. I had a good workout.

For now, its time to stay in shape and plan the next adventure, probably Chicago for St. Patrick’s day again. If my liver can handle it. Those Irish...

Europe 2008- 1st Installment- Stuttgart, Praha, Schaldming, Vienna

2008-09-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

So, it all started when I met Alexandra in May and discovered that she was headed to Europe for the summer. I had been needing a trip, so I invited myself along. I didn’t even think twice about asking for the time off from work. I hadn’t taken more than a few weeks at a time off in one stretch in over eight years. The only difficulty I encountered was having to use comp time for four of the days because we already had several people off then.

I gave myself a few days off before the trip to pack and get ready and booked my Air France (operated by Delta) flight through Kayak.com, which bounced me to Orbitz.com. The only issue I had with Orbitz is that they have a function to choose your seats. This is a really cool feature except that Orbitz didn’t know what type aircraft I was on and apparently the computer guessed. I ended up having the exact center seat on all four flights. Luckily I was able to beg my way into an aisle seat for the flight from Atlanta to Stuttgart. The window was open so I had two seats to myself. Nice!

So, a little side note: The cost of fuel has apparently had some unintended and unfortunate effects on overseas travel. Remember when booze was free on international flights? I do. Well, not anymore. No Frei Bier. Well. One free beer…and I am pretty sure that was because there was a thundershower at Atlanta and we had to sit in the plane on the runway for over an hour while weather cleared. Props to the Delta flight crew though. They were bringing water out to us even as the Captain was powering up the engines for our takeoff roll. I heard them arguing about it.

Attendant 1: “What are you doing? This is an active runway!”

Attendant 2: “Well, you can tell the Captain if you want. I’m taking out water!”

Eventually, they were all hustling trays of water out to us. Thanks!

So, into the air we went for the most enjoyable nine-hour flight of my life. We landed in Stuttgart and, of course the Jetway was broken so we ended up being bussed to the smaller, short hop Customs. Four German Customs agents. Two for EU citizens and two for all of us. My luck held, and as they had let us out the back of the plane, I got out first and was through Customs in about 20 minutes.

The plan was for Alexandra to meet me in the airport if her train from Italy stopped there, otherwise meet at the Hotel in Stuttgart. I checked about and didn’t see her so I stopped at the Info booth and got the train info I needed to get to the Hotel. 20 minutes later I am at the Hotel. At bit of a dump, but who cares? I met up with Alexandra and we went for a walk and then took the train into town. We wanted to have some proper German food so we looked around. Lots of Italian. Lots of Kebab. (They seem to love Kebab over here. Shops everywhere!) Not much proper home-style food. We finally settled on a brewery in town. I had the Summer beer and some sausage and potatoes. OK beer. OK sausage. Awful potatoes. Ugh. Think of lukewarm potato salad with waaaayyyy too much mustard. Really hard to eat. And our server had all the personality of a prison camp guard. Maybe she was just moonlighting…I later discovered that she was just being…German.

We took the train back to the Hotel and had a shower and nap. Then headed back out to look for a better dinner.

OK. Side note time. The good old US of A needs to make a serious change in the way we think about transportation. I love my motorcycle, and I am fond of my truck and really need it. But I don’t need to drive them every day. I ride my bicycle when I can, and enjoy it a lot. I rode to REI a few days before the trip and on the way back stopped to have some Vietnamese food at a favorite restaurant. The restaurant is in a big strip mall. There was not a single bike rack, pole, or tree upon which to lock my bike to be found. I was pissed.

How does this happen? We don’t take this stuff seriously. In the USA, people who ride bikes are seen by the public at large and either too destitute to own a car, lost their license to legal trouble, or homeless. The same is true with trains and busses. The busses in San Diego are awful. It takes forever to get anywhere, and the Trolley is so limited in the area it covers that it is pretty much useless to 70 percent of the population. So far in Stuttgart, Praha, and Vienna I have been able to take a train to within 4 blocks of anywhere I needed to go.

The current US administration, and quite possibly the next one want to drill oil in the US to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. I say great. The problem is that they only want to lower the price of gas to US consumers and buy time to come up with alternative fuels for our cars. WRONG. We need to get away from dependence on cars and start building mass transit now. In San Diego we just enlarged the commuter lane running up the Interstate 15 corridor? Did we build a trolley line to service those people living along that route who might be interested in taking a train to work? Nope. I sure wasn’t asked and I don’t recall anyone else being asked either. I guess the status quo will continue.

Back to Europe.

We wandered about downtown Stuttgart and hopped on and off a few trains, looking for a place. We finally decided that there were a few small Hofbrau in the village we were staying in. We got back there at about 930 and chose between two likely places. Der Heschlacher Weinstubbe won out. Most likely because there was a lively crowd out front having a good time. We stepped in and had a seat. I checked out the menu, first in German, then English and decided to have a Dunkel and some spatzl and pork. The beer was awesome. I had one with dinner then we moved to the bar where I had several more 0.5 liter bottles and we had a shot of a home made spiced rum. A gallon jug packed with leaves and spices. Very good. The proprietor and his wife were very friendly and we enjoyed their company. A short walk back to the Hotel and a nice night’s sleep, with the exception of the worst pillow I have ever used. It was so thin that it provided less support than a stripper’s boyfriend when he finds out its not his kid.

The next morning we headed out and got our car. Yeah. Car. There is explanation for this. Three of the days were to be spent in Schladming, Austria. This is a small town of 5000 in the mountains of southern Austria. I knew I would need the car, and getting to Praha and Vienna, with Schladming in the middle would be considerably easier in a car.

We got the car, which was pretty cheap by the way. Probably less than a similar rental in the USA. An Opel Corsa 4 door. It had a 1.2 liter motor and a 5 speed manual transmission. Needed a 6th or even 7th gear. I kept checking to see if I was in 3rd. My motorbike has a 1 liter motor, and twice the horsepower. I really had to wring the little bugger’s neck, but with some work, she kept up 140 KPH on the Autobahn, at about 42 miles per gallon. Not bad. Gas is about 1.24 Euro per liter. That’s about 7.25 USD per gallon.

We headed off to Praha, which took us about 5 hours with a few short stops. We rolled into town and straight for the hostel, which as luck would have it was pretty near the city center. We had a private room with our own bathroom. Nice. And great big fluffy pillows. Very nice. The place had had a photo of the pillows on their site, and now I know why. Very important.

A quick change of clothes and out into town. We parked the car across the river on a side street and took a self-guided tour of the square and the bridges. It started to rain a bit, but wasn’t too bad. We grabbed a bottle of beer and hung out under one of the entries to the Charles Bridge. It’s a really amazing bridge with statues of characters from Praha and the Czech Republic’s history lining the sides. We crossed the bridge and wandered into a blues bar that Alexandra had found on her previous trip to Praha, Um Maleho Glenna. We got there as the show was finishing up. The bartender felt bad and asked us how much cover we wanted to pay. We settled on half. I had a few beers, which are relatively (and the only thing that seems to be this way here) inexpensive. A pint of beer is anywhere from 2 to 3 Euro, even in nicer type places. I generally expect to pay 5 or 6 USD at home.

The show was good, what we heard of it. One more beer upstairs and we headed home for some much needed rest. The next AM, we hit up a café down the street for some really good eggs. I don’t know what was in those eggs but the texture and flavor were really nice. Free Internet and email was cheeked and various websites updated. A walking tour of Praha continued with the castle/palace that dominates the Praha skyline the destination. We took the train up the hill (I love trains) and began to walk. It was an amazing place, and I imagined it had seen some serious stuff in its lifetime. From the beginning of Communism to the end of the same, with various rulers and coups, all with an amazing and commanding view of the city below.

Back down into town for some dinner and a night out. It was Friday, so I suspected that it would be a good night. We hit a spot in downtown Praha that looked like the locals were eating there. They were, so I decided to have a farmer’s plate of different meats, dumplings, and sauerkraut. Generally I find that the photo in the menu is a poor representation of the food I am ordering. I expect to get much less. I got more. And more of a plate of pork, sausage, duck, ham, three types of dumplings, and two types of sauerkraut is not a good way to discover the exception to the rule. Not wanting to be rude, I did what I could but ended up leaving enough to get Haiti out of its troubles for a few days at least. Alexandra had salmon. I tried it. It was amazing.

We found another Jazz club, Agharta. A Czech band called Madfinger played. A very young band, with the oldest member probably not much older than 28 or 30. A very talented group, with a female lead singer who was equally amazing in English and Czech. Alto Sax, bass guitar, keyboards, lead guitar, and drums kept things rocking. Of course, we had missed their first set (again) but it was a good night.

Austria was on the list for tomorrow, so we called it a night and headed back after a long walk through town seeing the sights. Roaming bands of teenagers smoking cigarettes and drinking beers were to be seen from time to time. No danger to us, so long as they don’t smell fear. One funny thing I noticed. I had seen a lot of really young people drinking in bars and on the streets, but no one was really out of control. No one has asked me for my ID yet either. I guess I look just a bit older than 16.

Sailing!

2008-08-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

I missed the boat yesterday. That's not a cute way of saying my life sucks or anything. My life is pretty good actually.

I missed the boat. Bart's boat. There are pictures of sailing on the boat on my page here somewhere. I got a message from Joel that the boat was shoving off at 5PM. I had to work yesterday and needed to go home to feed the mutts before hitting the water. I rushed, but was worried I wasn't going to make it.

At 5, I called Joel. "You should be OK, Bart's not here yet".

I got there at 5:20 and as I was running down the dock I saw the distinctive twin masts of Shine On sliding out of the slips.

Crap.

As I wandered out of the docks, apparently beaten, I decided I would not be beaten. I remembered that there is a boat launch across the street. I ran over there and there were fishermen pulling their boats out of the water. I asked a few if I could get a ride, because I had missed the boat.

Everyone was leaving.

Then I met Steven. He and a few friends were just launching and, sure, they could take us out there.

"Does he know you're coming?"

"Sure." Well, not quite like this, but it wont be a huge surprise when I show up. Bart's a really cool guy.

I saw Shine On headed east across the bay toward the start line and we were just in time. We motored out and Steven made a masterful turn across their bow. Bart looked a little concerned that a motorboat was harassing them.

"Argh! Prepare to be boarded!"

HOORAY!

Steven pulled up close to starboard, matched speed, and I jumped on.

Nice!

We tossed some beers to SteveN and my new friends headed off to do some fishing. Hope they did well.

It was a good omen that I made the boat. We actually got a good start (we usually miss the start) and had a good time, then headed back. It was a good night.

See you all soon.

Noble Canyon

2008-04-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

April 17, 2008.

The video speaks for itself.

Specialized Enduro: $2500

Giro E2 helmet: $120

Video of yourself eating shit: Priceless?

Screw that. Helmets are expensive!

24 Horas...Para Siempre!

2008-02-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

So, let me start by stating that this was the most problematic race to put together yet. Even with the RV getting stuck the first year, this was tougher. More in a personnel aspect, in that 4 months ago we had enough people who were going to ride that we thought about running two teams. As it turned out we barely had enough to run one team (6 riders).

That aside, it was an awesome time. We left early Friday and ran into SNOW on the 8 Freeway.

Apparently there had been a few inches overnight that had turned into ice, so they were not letting anyone over the pass to the east. We sat in traffic for a few hours then were able to turn around and made it over the Viejas Grade, which was a few miles of mud, snow, and ice. Cool. We stopped in Pine Valley for some breakfast and sat down at Majors. "Sit wherever you like". And sat. And sat. We got our own menus. The server tossed a pile of silverware and napkins on the table. Hmmmm. Then we never saw her again. They were not busy. Two guys walked in, were seated, orders taken and got coffee within 3 minutes of walking in the door. We walked out and were told by a local at the coffee stand next door that we just experienced a Majors standard level of service. I can't believe they are still open.

So we continued on, got some nasty Denny's in El Centro, and then took the Park Link shortcut just west of Tucson. 4 inches of mud for 5 miles. Glad I have a truck. Back on the main highway and onto the road to the race camp. 5 miles of mud. The bikes got annihilated on the rack.

Happily, Andrew and Everett had gotten there a bit earlier and hooked up with Johnny G and Kat with a really nice spot with mostly weeds, so very little mud. We hustled and got the 3 easy ups, propane fire pit, gas cook stove, and keg on the jockey box up. Ernesto fired up some bitchin spaghetti and we dined and drank. And watched it snow. And snow. Wow. A few inches at least. It was pretty awesome.

Ern and I help out until about 12 and had many cervesas. In the morning, it had stopped snowing and raining and was just overcast. We had some tasty potatoes and eggs and got signed in for the race.

Everett had the first lap, which meant he had to do the run and fight through the thousand or so racers.

He posted a good time and we were off and racing. Brian, Ernesto, Dave Campbell, then me, Andrew, and so on, into the night. It was close all night, always within 10 minutes up or down on first place. We all ride singlespeed, so we give up a little speed on the flats, but generally climb a bit faster.

At about 5 AM one of their guys had a bad flat he could not get fixed and we went back into the lead, after being down for several laps. We kept charging into the afternoon, and by the time Everett headed out for the last lap, we were up 10 minutes. He charged it and we even did a bike exchange at the base of the last climb, trading his cross bike for Dave's Kona. Erv wanted to have fun on the last downhill and a little better gear for the last climb. It all worked out and we took it.

Not bad. The guys in second were totally bummed. I feel really bad for the guy who had the mechanical, but that's racing.

We took the rest of the beer to the awards ceremony and gave out free beers to everyone who wanted one, then gave beers to the second place Area 51 Audio team. There was much Aloha and fun to be had.

(Deejay Birtch- Now riding and reping Niner))

Breaking down and heading home was pretty uneventful. We stopped in Dateland and had date shakes and greasy food. We were all home by 1130 and in bed shortly thereafter. A hot shower felt really nice.

All in all, not bad. 3 wins in 4 years. Of course, it IS Corporate category. The solo and duo teams are all pretty badass.

My Flikr account for more photos. See ya!

Fires

2007-10-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well, fire season is here, and it's here big time. They are saying this might be worse than the Cedar fire from four years ago, which started on the 27th of October, 2003. The Santa Ana winds dried the heck out of everything and the County was a tinderbox. I was in east county yesterday and the winds were unbelievable. It was like riding through a tornado. Things were blowing in three directions at once. There are gusts to 75 MPH. The fixed wing tankers cannot fly, so we are not even close to getting containment on anything. We are going to 12 on 12 off at work, so I will be pretty busy. Last time, the 12 hours turned into more like 15 hours on, 9 off. I'll keep everyone updated. I am a city dweller, so my place is not in any danger. I have a lot of friends who live in the danger zone, so my thoughts go out to them.

Fandango

2007-09-16T20:32:00.001-07:00

The California coast is absolutely amazing to look at in magazines. It’s even better from the seat of a motorcycle. I leaned this while taking a trip to the San Francisco Bay area to visit family recently. I had been up and down the coast a few times but had never really appreciated the roads until now. I have been riding street bikes for about a year now. I guess it was a logical (or illogical) progression from riding bicycles pretty seriously for the past few years.

I received a call from my mom that they would be visiting my brother’s family the weekend of September 1^st. That just s happened to be my mother’s birthday, and I hadn’t seen her in a while. Simple decision, yes? I just so happened to have that weekend off from work, and had some time, so off I went. The bike, a Honda RC51 racebike got new tires, and I loaded up the saddlebags for the journey.

The first hundred or so miles were pretty boring. Up the 405 to Ventura, where Andrew “The Map” Lee said I needed to cut out the 33 to Ojai. “Really fun roads” he said. Andrew has a lot of time on both motorcycles and bicycles and has made it his mission to be the definitive source for touring the Western US, so who was I to argue. The 33 was as advertised. Fun winding roads, up to about 5000 feet, then back down into the valley. The only snag was the wildfire that had just been knocked down a few days before. Due to the massive vehicular traffic, there was a bit of gravel strewn about on the highway, which at speed can make a tight corner kind of a nail biter. Thanks for the new tires!

I survived the trip, and on the 166 lucked out and got gas at the brand new fueling station in New Cuyama. “Cash only. Our credit machine isn’t up yet.” The RC51 has short legs, being designed for hour-long World Superbike and AMA Superbike races. I arrived in Santa Maria and headed up the mighty 101 to San Luis Obisbo, one of my favorite towns in California.

After that, the fun really began. Up into the coastal areas, past Hearst Castle (I didn’t go up to say Hi.). Then things got exciting. Windy, twisty, narrow stuff that was seemingly made for sport bikes. The cars were there for the views, and would stop and gawk at the sheer beauty that is the California coastline, which is absolutely amazing to see. Luckily, there are plenty of spots to get around the cars, and traffic was pretty light for a holiday weekend.

I was pretty much screaming in the helmet at the absurdity of turn after perfect turn. I was in heaven and really happy I was not on a fat pig of a Harley. As far as I was concerned, they might as well have been in cars, as the only thing they got out of being on a motorcycle was sunburn. To each his own…

Gas at Big Sur then charged into Monterrey, where I cut over to Salinas. I stopped of at Laguna Seca Raceway with thoughts of sneaking onto the track for a lap, but there was a 24-hour mountain bike race going on. Security in full force. Oh well.

From there it was all business. Over to the 101 then up the 680. Freeway riding at its best. I could feel the flat spot wearing in the middle of my rear tire. Nearly. I got to San Jose, and HAD to stop. Monkey butt had taken over. The long day in the saddle had taken its toll. The RC51 seat is a little softer than the metal they use to drill for diamonds, but not much. The concrete freeways were beating me to death. I stopped, got a coffee and called Mom. They were just leaving the Highland Games, where my teen prodigy niece Amanda was competing at bagpipes. Amanda is absolutely amazing. She is rated a 2, on a scale of 1-4 with 1 the top. She is 15 and regularly beats people with many more years playing. It’s a truly talented family and I was looking forward to the band competition the next day.

I pushed north and arrived in Benicia a bit ahead of schedule. I had not been to my brothers in a few years, and he lives in a bedroom community, so all the houses look alike. I stopped in front “Gary’s” house, where a key was to be hidden for me. Try as I might, I couldn’t locate the key. The side door into the garage was open. I walked in, noted that Gary had rearranged the garage, and into the house. A male, Gary’s age but not Gary said “Hello”. I responded, “ I’m in the wrong house…this isn’t 151 is it…?” Oops.

Out I went, and thankfully to the correct house, where I made my way in, but still through the side door, as the arranged hide-a- key was not to be found. (Gary, lock your garage) A few moments later, the clan arrived home. Amanda had been victorious in her solo events, and everyone was having a good day. I explained how I had wandered into their neighbor’s house so Gary wouldn’t be surprised when he was told “someone who said he was wearing black leather and said he was your brother walked into our house a few nights ago”.

I had some Chinese they had gotten for me (apparently they liked the vegetable egg fooyung, and ate most of it), a beer (two), chatted with my mom, and went to bed. I slept very well.

The next morning the Highland Games continued. We went early, dropped Amanda off with her band mates, and wandered about. Gary had been doing these festivals for several years, so it was old hat for him. He worked Amanda’s bands (Prince Charles Pipe Band) booth selling shirts and hats for a bit, so I was on my own. I listened to the Wicked Tinkers for a while. They are a very talented band that has fused traditional Scottish music and instruments with a modern style.

I watched some of the sheep herding events, where the dogs were on the young side, so they were pretty excitable. Hmmm. Reminded me of one of my dogs. Smart, but easily distracted. The heavy events were…heavy. Large men throwing heavy things over bars, the caber toss where the object is to throw a long pole end over end as straight as possible, and the hammer toss, which is an iron ball at the end of a rod that is thrown. It begins with a foot planted spin that appears as though it makes a lot of money for orthopedic surgeons. An avian rescue group was there, specializing in raptors. They had a Golden Eagle there that had lost several of its talons when it was electrocuted on a power line. The bird was amazingly docile, but I could tell by the look the bird had that it knew it was in charge. The bird has a wingspan of seven feet and weighs sixteen pounds.

Soon, Gary was freed from his sales servitude and we went to get seats to watch the bands. Some of the grade 1 bands played first. Wow. Really incredible. In this particular competition, all the pipers generally are playing the exact same music. There is no credit given for harmonies. The goal is for all the pipes to sound as one.

Amanda’s band played and was on it. Another band was close, but in the end, they came out on top. We went back to the band staging area as everyone prepared for the closing ceremonies. The USMC band of San Diego was to play, and I wanted to see them. A friend of Gary’s had some free seats, so we scored. Otherwise it meant standing, and we had been standing all day. The awards were handed out, and praise (all well deserved) given. The Marine band played, and put on a good show. They started out very spit and polish, but loosened up a lot as they went on. It was a good PR move. Then all the bands marched out. Between 600 and 800 pipers and drummers, depending on who you listened to. The finale was a soloist playing Amazing Grace, then accompanied by the entire group. Absolutely incredible. I took video with my camera, but it doesn’t come close to capturing the power of the sound I heard. I guess you just had to be there.

We headed back to the band compound and packed up. Amanda stayed with the band, as they were headed to SF for the night’s celebrations. We drove back to Gary’s in the Prius, which is a pretty amazing car. It was the first time I had been in one. It is a really well thought out car, and I would like to see the technology in more cars in the future. I guess we are headed that way, as I see Chevy has a hybrid Tahoe out now. We had a nice dinner and called it a night. Everyone was pretty well exhausted by the long day.

The next morning, we took the dogs for a walk and located a cache that Kyla, the younger of my two nieces had hidden the day before with Grandma Jan and Grampa Greg. They are into Geocaching, which is a pretty cool way to add some adventure to a hike. It involves a GPS and the goal is to locate a cache that someone has hidden and posted the latitude and longitude coordinates to on one of several websites. Kinda cool.

We headed back to the house and Mom and Greg packed up and headed up the coast. I packed and headed south. My friend Sol lives in the Bay Area and was having a Labor Day party. I thought about it and didn’t want to fight holiday traffic on the freeway, so I stopped by. The food was great and as expected, Sol has really cool friends and roommates, not to mention a very comfortable couch. I was up by 7 and on the road about 8.

More freeway riding down the 680, but as soon as I hit the 17 to Santa Cruz, the fun began. It reminded me of Buckhorn Summit. Fast and twisty roads. Traffic was fairly light so I was able to make good time. Once I got to the 1, I was back in heaven. Sorry I didn’t take too many photos, but I was so into the riding that I did not want to stop.

Fortunately, I was forced to stop just a bit south of Big Sur. I heard a change in the exhaust note of the RC51 and looked down to make a quick inspection. The right muffler, a really nice titanium Sato exhaust was about to fall off. All the rivets holding the midpipe to the can had broken and the exhaust bracket was all that was holding the pipe on. I stopped immediately and took a moment to take a few photos of one of the prettiest beaches on the California coast. I was able to borrow one of the two springs from the other side exhaust and held it all together. I stopped at a Chevron in Cambria, and the mechanic on duty was able to put some new rivets in. They weren’t perfect, but they got me down the coast. Thanks Dave! On a side note, I stopped in San Luis Obisbo and tried to get some more appropriate rivets put in but none of the three shops I visited seemed able to find the time to do the 10 minute job that Dave, at a Chevron had been more than happy to do.

Aloha report:

Cambria: 1

San Luis Obisbo: 0

Back on the road and into Los Angeles. Remember the seat on the RC51 being less than comfortable? Yeah. Still hurt. The LA freeways were not helping. I want to have a few words with whoever decided to use concrete for freeways. Not good on a motorcycle. I was pretty close to crying the last hour of the trip. There was just no way for me to get comfortable. As I got closer to home, I had to fight the urge to pin the throttle and take the RC up to the 150 I know it can do. I reached a Zen like state from the pain, and rolled southward. As I made the familiar turn onto my street, I was glad to see that the house was still standing. I parked the bike and walked into the house. A quick hello to Crash, the cat, then out into the yard for some time with the dogs. As usual they were thrilled to see me. As I was them. I poured a beer, and sat down to relax a bit and woke up a few hours later on the couch, wandered off to bed and slept like the dead.

Now I need another motorcycle. Maybe one with a little more padding. And next time I promise to take more photos. By the way Dad, sorry I didn't have enough time to make it up to Redding.

Take care all.

Chuck Norris eats meteors

2007-06-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

*Reposted without permission from Chuck Norris.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with
his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer
amazement.

3. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

4. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.

5. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

6. Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck
Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

7. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far
too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

8. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all
three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

9. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck
could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW
DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her
throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he
bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he
realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone
within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

10. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris
smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7
different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing
for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

11. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"

12. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris
roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

13. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just
so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

14. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take
yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already
lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

15. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He
came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and
when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came
with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he
gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck
Norris."

16. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".

17. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat
on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

18. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks
and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction
was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took
his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.

19. In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced
Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

20. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

21. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give
him exact change.

22. Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his
basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at
once.

23. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows
clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it
show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to
put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is
"his" way.

25. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children
who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck
Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and
roundhouse kicks them in the face.

26. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to
roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and
shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

27. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I.
His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are
black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the
shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

28. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see
Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

29. Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is
actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the
face that day.

30. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

31. i honestly knew a kid in highschool who's grandpa knocked chuck
norris out in a kickboxing-style competition.

32. Chuck Norris has special cowboy boots made that say "You been
Whoop'd" backwards on the sole, so when he gives you a roundhouse to
the face everyone will know that you were whoop'd.

33. Chuck Norris once killed a bear with his bare hands. Then
resurrected it just so he could keep fighting it. He did this 23 times
straight without water, rest or food until the bear became nothing
more than fur and splinters of bone.

34. alot of people think Chuck Norris was in Delta Force. in reality,
he IS Delta Force, single handedly completing every covert opp, EVER!
this is only kept quiet so the ruskies dont find out. if they tried to
convince him to defect, he would likely roundhouse kick every single
commie bastard in that frozen shit hole. the problem with that is the
friction from his snake skin boots roundhousing through the air at
such a high speed, for so long, would raise the ambiant temp by
several degrees, eventualy melting the polar ice caps and, well, you
know the rest.

35. Chuck Norris made the ultimate PSA, in which he roundhouse kicks a
joint out of this kid's mouth while saying, "Men are like steel. When
they lose their temper, they lose their worth."

36. In the news today, Chuck Norris got his ass beat down by a group
of approximately 15 dirty, angry hippies. They accosted him in an
airport while he was waiting for his luggage. One particularly dready
stoner was quoted as saying, " That little bitch had it comin'."

37. After filming "Sidekicks", Chuck Norris round-house kicked
Johnathan Brandis in the face. Brandis never lived this down and was
the secret reason he commited suicide.

38. Chuck Norris single-handedly round-house kicked every dinosaur to
death. Not some pussy ass meteor.

39. Chuck Norris eats meteors for breakfast and shits diamonds for brunch.

Want more?

http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck

Thank you Chuck Norris.

I did it, I really did it.

2007-06-06T21:27:00.001-07:00

OK, I wasn't going to write about crashing anymore, because it seems to be a frequent (hmmm) topic around me. Unfortunately though, it seems to be one of the ways I choose to entertain those around me. Maybe I should take up tap dancing instead.

Nah. Blisters...

So there I was, at Willow Springs International Motorsports Park for my second track day. What's a track day the reader asks. A track day is an event hosted my any number of companies or organizations that allow the non-racing public to use race courses on their personal motorcycles and cars.

No speed limits. No cars (on moto days). No paint stripes. No bots dots. You kiddin' me? Where do I sign up? Exactly!

So annnyway, there I was at Willow (the big track) on my second day. The first was at the California Speedway, in Fontana. That was cool because Jeremy Toye, a local AMA racer was there and was FAST AS SHIT! Also cool because there was an AMA race there the following week so I got to watch the pros take the same turns I had been taking at like three times the speed. Sweet.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Willow. So I was feeling good and moving along pretty well. There had been a lot of crashes that day, and we kept getting pulled off the track so they could clean up the various messes. A few guys went to the hospital, but it seemed like it was mostly precautionary. No one got hurt too badly that I could see. I was getting a little uptight that we kept getting pulled off the track, and made some smartass comments about the crashers F-ing it up for everyone else. Dumb.

So I think it was my third session (20 minutes each) and I was going at it with this guy on a beat up CBR F3, which is a bit faster than my SV in the straights. Three guys passed me through turn 2, a long sweeping right hander, and I wanted to get it back into 3, a sharp uphill left that leads into 4a and 4b, a double apex right. (OK. Visualize me with my hands as motorclycles demonstrating the turn like I was a Top Gun pilot. "Becasue I was...inverted.") I braked late into 3 and charged up the hill. I had passed all three and knew they were there. I went too fast into 4a, and wide into 4b. Oops.

Ever notice how most things bad, and hardly anything good start with "Oops?"

You put gas in the car, right?

"Oops"

Did you turn off the oven?

"Oops"

And my personal fav: "You're on the pill right?"

Big F-ing "OOPS"

But I digress...

"Oh well, I'll just roll off the track and stop in the dirt." About the same time I remembered Brian had told me that there is really no safe runoff at Willow Springs. Funny how the brain works. Brian was right. He has been here before. I rolled into soft dirt, with walnut to baseball sized rocks for traction. I was doing OK until I realized that there was only about thirty feet of this refuge. It terminated in a six foot high berm meant to keep me in the lion's den. I realized I wasn't going to make it and pretty much dove off of the bike.

The rules there are pretty simple. "You crash, get the hell away from your bike." So I did. And sat there looking at my moto. About thirty seconds later, I heard a wicked squealing. This drew my attention to.....

A pretty (used to be), yellow (now yellow and black), Ducati (still Italian) was sliding and spinning across the top of turn 3 into 4. The rider, also in yellow followed a few feet behind, clearly concerned about his motorcycle and keeping an eye on her. "Ciao, bella!"

The rider behind was a real team player and offered to give the Ducatista a hand, but was shunned. The second rider stopped, made sure there were no autographs to sign, and split. This, of course red flagged the session. Which meant I immediately ran to my bike and righted it, as I was sure the oil from the crankcase was flowing into the cylinders.

Hallelujah! She fired right up. The safety workers came by, asked if I was OK, and I headed off to straighten this, clean that, and finish out my day. The rest of the day went well and there were no more crashes in any group.

A week or so later, and I am checking the SV rider forum I am part of and see nothing but a video that appears to be of a yellow Ducati and rider, sliding through turns 3 and 4 at Willow.

Small world. The only thing I would like to have seen is my sorry butt standing on the berm, wondering how I could have crashed. Again.

Enjoy the video.

Ducati video

Can Billy Bob Thornton save us?

2007-01-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

"More than 100,000 asteroids hurtle past our planet. But only one—that we know of—may hit us in the next 30 years.

Friday the 13th of April 2029 could be a very unlucky day for planet Earth. At 4:36 am Greenwich Mean Time, a 25-million-ton, 820-ft.-wide asteroid called 99942 Apophis will slice across the orbit of the moon and barrel toward Earth at more than 28,000 mph. The huge pockmarked rock, two-thirds the size of Devils Tower in Wyoming, will pack the energy of 65,000 Hiroshima bombs—enough to wipe out a small country or kick up an 800-ft. tsunami."

Well, we are screwed. Not really. Probably. The article, which was published in “Popular Mechanics” in December 2006, goes on to say that it appears as though the asteroid will probably miss the planet by 18,000 miles. That’s still pretty close. The moon is 239,000 miles away. It would be pretty traumatic to lose the moon, as the moon keeps the earth in a stable rotation. As it is now, the moon moves about an inch father away every year. As it does the effect is to make the “wobble” that the earth has as it spins on its axis gets a little bigger.

I don’t know about you, but I hope that the people of this rock called earth that we live on can get along and work out a solution to this problem. Call me a pessimist, but I am not betting on it. If I lived on a Caribbean island like…Curacao I might think about moving away from the coast and into the mountains before 2029. Maybe someplace like New Mexico or Colorado? Hmmmm. Z.C., did you have prior knowledge of this? Friends at NASA?

Well, this fits well with my plans. I love living here in San Diego but this might be another warning to move. Things are still good here, but slowly unraveling. Some people I work with have stated that we are done as a Country. I prefer to think that the Country is OK, but the planet is in trouble. I am not a religious person in any sense of the term, but I do believe that you reap what you sow. What we are sowing right now is a lot of nothing. I mean, you can’t keep picking vegetables from your garden without doing some maintenance and adding beneficial bugs and nutrients, can you? I don’t think we are doing that. That’s not to say that I don’t add pollutants to the environment, but I do what I can to minimize them. I recycle everything I can and support green companies when I can (New Belgium Brewing comes to mind). I don’t drive unless I have to.

What else can we do? I don’t know. I guess do what you can. And keep your eyes on the sky in April 2029. And remember to take your hip boots to work with you in you live anywhere near the coast. Take care, and I’m sorry if I scared the crap out of you. Don’t blame me, blame the asteroid.

Ride your bike!

-Shake

Dammit!

2006-11-24T10:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I got my first one in. And I learned something about crashing. It hurts and it's expensive. So far, if I cobble the bike back together its gonna be a couple hundred bucks. The good news is, I wanted a new rearset for the bike and now I kinda have to buy it.

Here's how it happened. I was having a great solo ride. I was charging and having a great time. I took an S turn on Boulder Creek Road (off of Engineers Road near Julian) and didnt really like how it went. I stopped, turned around and went back down, checking the turn out as I went. As I got to the bottom I turned around and thought "wouldnt it be funny if there was a car coming down right now?" I headed back up, got into the first turn of the S and guess what I saw? A big black suburban on its way down. Shit! Now, a rider with more experience might have been fine and just kept in the turn and been fine. I wanted some more room as the road there is pretty narrow and has no center line. I braked, stood up a bit and realized I was going to need to ride the dirt shoulder. Except it wasnt a shoulder. It was a two foot deep trench in the dirt. Ouch! I got up pretty quick and picked the bike up.

The driver of the Suburban was a mom with two kids in the car. She had stopped and looked scared to death. I thought I was going to have to call 911 for her. She asked me if I was OK. When I said I was, she said "You were going really fast." I know...Thanks!

So after promising her I was OK and didnt need help she rolled off and I began to go over the bike. The bracket that the shift lever and left peg attach to were broken. Hmmmm. Gonna be kind of hard to get home like this. I began to make calls to get a ride home, then I decided to get the bike home on my own. I was able to pull all the broken stuff off and get the bike into 5th gear and limp it home. Not good on the clutch, but I didnt really have a lot of options as I didnt feel like making anyone drive the 2 hours out there to get me.

I was a little beat up the next day but overall not too bad. Thank you leathers and boots. And helmet too. So the bike sits, waiting for the new parts to arrive.

What did I learn? Be careful on narrow roads with blind corners. Go slower. Dont fall. It hurts and is expensive. Ride more and work on my technique more than speed. Speed will come.

Mom, if you are reading this, I really am fine. Don't worry about me.

Happy Holidays! (Click the picture)

Boa sorte a Port!

2006-06-25T18:06:00.000-07:00

Our guys did it again, albeit ugly. OK, our guys were USA, but they didn’t have the team this year. So our team is Portugal. On to the game. The only thing that might have been uglier than the game was the officiating. The game set a new record for cards given in a Cup match. 16! Hard to believe. Portugal had two players ejected and the Dutch lost two also. Many cards were given for unknown reasons while others were blatantly lacking. The guess is that the Russian official will not be moving past the group of 16 with Portugal. Portugal's Figo was almost ejected after he headbutted Van Bommel in an argument. Van Bommel got him back later with an elbow to the face.

Due to the ejections, Portugal will be down Deco and Costinha for the next game, which will be this Saturday vs. England and Beckham…Tough.

I have confidence and will be up early Saturday watching and hollering for the team. So should you.

Then ride your bike.

-Shake

FIFA World Cup 2006

2006-06-15T18:24:00.000-07:00

Go Portugal! So far so good. Portugal has 3 points in Group D in the Cup so far. I'll put a link in here so you can keep an eye on the Crazy Portuguese footballers. That is, if anyone reads this blog. If not, it's good therapy for me to write of my daily trials and tribulations.

Ride your bike (When youre not watching the Cup)

-Shake

Crashing Sucks

2006-06-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I did it again. Dumb.

Somehow, I managed to avoid all the downtown traffic, trolleys, and pedestrians for the Lane Miller memorial alleycat last Friday, only to crash on my way home after the race.

It could have been worse, my face absorbed all of the impact. Whew! Lucky! I don't know how it happened, which I guess is common with face/head impacts. I think I had my helmet on, but I don't know for sure. I guess I'll find out when I go get my bike from the police tomorrow. I guess they took it for me because the medics didn't have room in the ambulance.

The good news is that I'll have time to work on the Datsun, as I don't think I should go to work for a while. I already have a reputation for crashing, and this isn't going to help. Oh, well. There will be some good stories circulating about me when I get back.

Take care,

-Shake

Bliss

2006-05-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

I finally rode the new bike. It was not cool having a badass new bike sitting in the garage with not a lick of dirt on the tires. I had planned on riding Noble Canyon but got a late start and rode Wooded Hill instead. It was a good first ride for the bike. A decent bit of climbing followed by some fast singletrack downhill.

It was worth the wait.

Today the crew rode Noble Canyon. The bike did not disappoint. We had a good bunch of guys and had one of the better days out there. I am planning on having many more rides over the course of the summer. We'll keep you posted.

Ride your bike.

-Shake

What the heck am I doing?

2006-04-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

I found one! What? A new truck. Where? Mmmmmm, Arizona? How are you gonna get it here? I just figured I would fly out there and drive it back. How old is it?

1973. Don't laugh. I mean it. It's not that funny. It's not.

OK, here's the background. I had one in high school. It was cool then and I think it still is. I just sold my Chevy Tahoe, a big, fat, SUV. I loved it but it did awful on gas and I couldn't justify having two cars anymore. Besides, my insurance would go down a lot, wouldn't it? So I sold the Tahoe and gleefully called my insurance company. And my insurance went down. Forty bucks. Per year. Geez. It seems that I lost my second car discount and the Tahoe was cheaper to insure than the car I kept. "Why don't you buy a beater so you can get your second car discount back?" was the suggestion the insurance company gave me. OK. You want me to get me a second car? More pollution? More congestion? Fine!

So I bought a 1973 Datsun pickup. Having had one before, I know the things pretty well. And since it's older than 1975, it doesn’t require smog tests. I can basically do anything I want to it engine wise. Racing carburetor? Yep. Racing exhaust? Absolutely.

So I found one in Tucson. Eight hundred bucks. Sweet. I got on a flight and the guy met me at the airport. We headed to his pad and looked her over. Not bad. A few bad fenders and hood, but I had already located a parts truck in town for one fifty. “Will it make it to San Diego?” I had asked the seller. “Oh, definitely.” Was the response. So I headed to the local Kragen, got some oil, fan belt, tape, and other stuff I figured I could get the thing going with in case it started to fail. Things were good for about fifty miles until the “CHG” idiot light started to flicker. I called the seller and asked him about it. He said he wasn’t sure why that would come on. He just put a new alternator in it last year. Hmmmm. The battery had water, belt was tight. Maybe the voltage regulator? Don’t know. I decided to keep driving. Turns out that the battery wasn’t getting charged.

I found this out just as I passed El Centro.

I pulled over and called for a tow, which got me back to El Centro just as Pep Boys, who stay open late was closing. Oh, well. I got a motel room and went out for pizza and beer. I managed to find the one bar I town and had drinks with a doctor and nurse. Not a bad time.

I woke up in the morning and waited for Pep Boys to call. They finally called and said, “It needs a battery, alternator, and voltage regulator.” I responded, ”I have a better idea." Sell me two batteries, I’ll put one in and drive back on battery power. They sold me the batteries and I headed back. I made it and only needed one battery. I’m going to return the other one today. The little truck isn’t much to look at right now but I see that it has a lot of potential. I’ll keep you updated.

Ride your bike.

-Shake

Meeting Bingo

2006-04-06T09:09:00.001-07:00

Sorry it’s been so long since I posted. I have been in the middle of moving, building a fence at the new place, and working for the man so time to Blog has been slim. Note to all of you: When you move, remember that unless you own a wind turbine, hydroelectric plant, or nuclear power plant, the power company has a monopoly on electricity and they will not accommodate you when you ask them to turn the power on say, tomorrow? "Sorry sir, three days is the earliest appointment we have. You should have called sooner." No kidding...Thanks! The good news is that while I sit here for my appointment between 8AM and Noon (How is it that this has become acceptable, by the way? Oh yeah, MONOPOLY) I get to add to my blog. In case you were wondering I am running my laptop, router, and modem via the power inverter in my car. Ghetto. Strictly Ghetto.

Here's something that I got in an email that is pretty funny. I'm going to use it the next time someone on the top floor talks to us at work. Take care.

By the way, I bought a new bike two weeks ago. Hasn’t ridden it yet. Sad.

Take care, (Ride my bike?)

-Shake

HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN MEETINGS: OFFERED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE...

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy

* strategic fit

* core competencies

* best practice

* bottom line

* revisit

* expeditious

* to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")

* 24/7

* out of the loop

* benchmark

* value-added

* proactive

* win-win

* think outside the box

* fast track

* result-driven

* empower (or empowerment)

* knowledge base

* at the end of the day

* touch base

* mindset

* client focus(ed)

* paradigm

* game plan

* leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

TESTIMONIALS from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

-- "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."

- Adam W., Atlanta

-- "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

- David T., Florida

-- "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."- Dan J., New York City

-- "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver

-- "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the

third time in two hours."-
Bob S., San Diego

The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting.

Old Pueblo 2006

2006-03-16T23:28:00.000-08:00

Well, we went back to the Old Pueblo, just outside Tucson, Arizona for the 2006 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo race. Our team, Adams Avenue Bicycles won the corporate category last year. And we did it on singlespeeds. Not bad. This year we wanted to defend our title and trained harder than last year. We rode singlespeeds again and had better weather than last year. Last year it rained. A lot. I saw a guy stop racing and start building an Ark. Unfortunately the biking gods didn't want us to win as badly as we wanted to win this year and we took second place by three minutes. Still not a bad result, but we really wanted to win.

Nevertheless, we had a great time. We killed a keg of Newcastle, several cases of cans and at least two bottles of whiskey. The camp was pretty sweet. We had four bench seats from our vans, a gas firepit, stereo, shade. You name it, we had it. We didn't win the race but we definitely won the party.

There was some question about whether or not the other team (who was ten minutes behind us at the time) checked in at the transfer tent. We checked the log book and saw they werent in there. It was brought to the race officials' attention but it turned out that the other team was sponsored by the title sponsor for the race and the racers on the other team were buddies with the race director. Needless to say, he was reluctant to apply the mandatory five minute penalty for not signing in at the transfer tent. Oh well, next year. Enjoy the trophies fellas, we'll see you next year.

Ride your bike.

-Shake

OK. Who wants a moustache ride?

2006-02-11T10:29:00.000-08:00

January 2006.

National Moustache Month.

So I have been told, but could not confirm. Sucka!

So everyone at the bike shop, the messengers, folks I ride with were telling me "Dude, January is National Moustache Month! You gotta grow a 'stache! There's a Moustache Race at the end of the month". I held out. For a week.

I am weak.

So I started to grow one. I have never had a moustache before. I grew a goatee and moustache for three weeks once, and the day I shaved it off, I left the moustache on. Until I took another look in the mirror. And shrieked like a girl. Jennifer laughed. A lot. The laugh that makes you know that something is horribly wrong and you’re the only one who doesn’t fully comprehend the issues at hand. I ran back into the bathroom and dispatched the…growth.

That was three years ago. I always knew I would look ridiculous with a moustache. Lots of my friends have them and they look fine. My buddy Kevin the Firefighter has one. Looks good.

Me? No way. I knew it. If Icarus had known he couldn’t fly like I know I look stupid with a moustache, he would have lived out his days collecting retirement checks, instead of falling to a horrible death. Except his story is a cool one. Mine is not.

So I began to grow the thing that began to take on its own personality. I realized a few things quickly. Girls no longer looked me in the eye. And not the look down at your feet and draw circles in the dirt with your toes kind of thing. This was the “Oh my god, I cant look at him without cracking up” kind of thing. I tried to talk to a really cute girl at the Live Wire one night and within a minute of my speaking to her, she and her friends nearly RAN out of the bar. Something about “We need to go eat. Nice meeting you.” Now, I’m no Casanova but women don’t usually RUN away from me.

Argh! The moustache! When’s that race?

My friends agreed I looked like a…Hmmm…The guy you don’t want moving in next door when you have children living at home. Yeah. Great.

So many times while shaving I thought, “what if the razor just..slipped and part of it disappeared?” No, I couldn’t let everyone down. Besides, It was beginning to look better. Right? That’s what I kept telling myself but knew it wasn’t.

The race finally arrived and I was stoked because I knew I was mere hours from winning. Not the race, but the battle with the moustache. I won. I held out, put up with all the crap and mysterious lack of dates in January and won. Schweet!

The race went pretty well. My roommate Lee and I pretty much rode together. We didn’t really try to win but planned on having fun. We had a beer with Aubree at the park downtown, donated chainring bolts to another rider who had some fall out, and picked up Zook, who was pissed and ready to quit.

Straight Edge planned the race and told us it would be long and would include some basic math. Great…Doing math on an oxygen starved brain. He did not disappoint and the course was long and hilly. When we picked up Zook, we realized we were probably doing better than we thought and began to ride with newfound vigor.

As we neared the end and got to one of the last stops, Kenton rolled up. Kenton is fast and podiums in a lot of the races. I asked him if he had already finished and was just tooling around. He said no. Crap! Lee and I took off like madmen for the finish. Maybe we had a shot. Zook went another way, but we never looked back. Sorry, dude. It was pretty much the last stand at the Alamo and every rider for him or herself. Lee and I finished at the same time and were not at all surprised to see that Kenton had beaten us there.

Lee and I took 3rd and 4th of 24 riders. Not bad. I don’t want you to think we were that fast because when we finished, about ten riders were already there but missed some stops and were DQ’d. Hey, whatever it takes baby. The finish was at the Live Wire and a general party broke out, complete with PBR and whiskey. Right on!

The next day, the moustache died. It was a quick and painless death of the type a true warrior deserves. And I was back to being me. Bring on the ladies!

Yeah, right. See you in Old Pueblo.

Ride your bike!

-Shake

Kid Stuff

2006-01-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

I went to the BMX track with some friends last night. No big deal? I am 33 years old. Dan, the guy who took us is 40. (Sorry Dan) The youngest in the group was 25. We arrived as the kids were finishing up the night's racing. The kids were really stoked, all geared up in their BMX pants, jerseys, helmets, and gloves.

Everyone was hi-fiving and smiling, with a little of the trashtalking that always seems to happen when there's racing going on. It was a good vibe, a lot like the Velodrome where I race track 6 months a year.

A few of the guys were on their dirt jump bikes, Nate was on a 4-cross bike, and Dan and I were on 5 and 6 inch travel bikes. Sorry to hit you with bike tech stuff but I guess I am trying to say that pretty much any bike you ride on dirt can be ridden at the BMX track. So, once the kids were done racing and mostly packing up to head home (gotta do the homework) we got all jocked up and took to the track. I never rode BMX as a kid, so I was pretty aprehensive about the whole thing. The guys were all pretty helpful:

"Don't pedal on the jumps and terrain. Just in between." "Keep your weight centered." "Don't crash."

Actually, no-one used the "c" word. It's bad luck to talk about crashing or flatting. At least it is for me...

So I headed out for the first lap and...didn't crash! I didn't clear any of the jumps either, but I kept the rubber side down. I realized that BMX is a lot of hard work. It definitely focuses on different muscle groups and body movements from the normal mountain biking we do. After each lap of a minute or so I was winded. But I kept working on my form and began to make some of the easier jumps. I was amazed. I have never been a great jumper or confident in the air, but I actually made some headway. I looked around and realized that I was surrounded by youg kids, old kids, Dads and Moms, guys and gals. Everyone was there to work on their riding and everyone else was stoked on everyone else's riding.

I awoke from my reverie and Dan offered some more advice, which Nate repeated a few minutes later.

"Don't pedal."

Oh, yeah. I seem to remember being told that earlier. Several times. I can't blame forgetting this rule on my oxygen deprived brain. I blame it on being lazy.

I made an effort to incorporate this rule to my riding and realized that they weren't just messing with me. The guys were good.

Dan

Nate

Lee and Lane

Lane

So, we kept riding for a while. I crashed. Once. No big deal but I knew it was going to happen as soon as I did it. Guess what I realized. I need another bike. BMX is fun Jumping is fun. My bike is OK for that stuff, but it's not really appropriate. And it fits in perfectly with my formula for the perfect number of bikes. You guessed it.

One more bike than you already have.

As things wound down, we said our goodbyes to the ladies. Yeah. The ladies. Badass girls who ride BMX, downhill, and 4-cross, and who are lot faster than me.

We said goodbye to the kids and the Dads, and Vince. Vince is the patron Saint of the track and keeps things running smoothly. We piled into the van and headed back to the shop. Everyone was still really stoked and on a high. It was a lot of fun. And I had the most fun I had had since...my last ride. Which is the way I like it. I think it keeps me young. I'm going to keep doing it. Even though I lose some skin and sprain and tweak stuff every now and again, I love it. In fact, I gotta go. The Thursday night singlespeed ride starts in 30 minutes.

Ride your bike.

-Shake

Leaving

2006-01-24T15:11:00.000-08:00

When I told everyone in my family I was coming to San Diego to go to school, my Geese grandpa told me "The coldest Winter I ever had was the summer I spent in San Diego". I thought that was pretty funny at the time. Of course I was a lot younger then and didn't really think much about it.

I don't know why I threw that in there, but I guess I have been thinking about leaving San Diego lately. I moved here in 1990 and, aside from a few summers at home in Northern California, have never left. Living here is pretty cool. Bicycling Magazine just rated San Diego as the best biking city in the USA over one million people. Portland, Oregon was best overall. Bicycling Magazine also likes to give away free magazines, as I let my subscription expire a long time ago but they keep sending copies to the house. Thanks guys. (I'm still not going to renew) While I don't know if we should be number one, we definitely have a lot to offer a rider. Lots of road riding, good mountain biking, and dry weather. Performance Bike has moved in really big over the past few years, buying Supergo, Bike USA, and Mission Cyclery to name just a few of the big ones. the smaller shops are working overtime to compete but seem to be doing alright. (See my link to Adams Avenue Bicycles. Support your locally owned shop please.)

We have several lakes of the man made variety within the county, the Pacific Ocean, dog parks, two stadiums with two generally mediocre but entertaining teams, and the Sports Arena (recently named the iPay One Arena) with the San Diego Gulls hockey team and San Diego Sockers indoor soccer team. Coors Amphitheatre in Chula Vista, and a ton of smaller venues.

Basically, if you're bored in San Diego, it's not the town's fault.

Don't try to buy a house though. Even if this is your bank account balance, you're gonna have to take out a loan.

(Mike Judge- Please don't sue me)

All kidding aside, I am having a tough time staying, but by the same token I would be walking away from a lot of cool stuff. I have great friends, a good job that I enjoy doing (whenever the bean counters are off my back and not busy running the company into the ground)

, and all the aforementioned generally good stuff San Diego has to offer.

I met a German girl several months ago who has lived in the USA six years and I am blaming her for my newfound wanderlust. In the time she has lived here she has moved at least five times. She has never lived anywhere longer than two years and has been here almost two. So needless to say she is getting ready to move again. I asked her if she was just trying to see as much of the country as she could before she went home and she said no, she had no intention of ever going back to Germany. She definitely likes it here. Maybe she figured out something about what makes her happy. I know I should'nt apply her formula for happiness to myself but the thought of going somewhere new from time to time is intriguing, but has its own new problems. What to do, what to do...

What was I talking about?

Leaving.

Yeah. I just don't know. I guess I'll decide later. If you read this whole thing and are disappointed by the ending, I'm sorry. Kind of like I felt last night after I finished watching Mullholland Drive. Some good stuff in the middle but an abrupt stop.

I promise to provide more substance next time.

-Shake

Starbucks

2006-01-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun little story that I like to share about Starbucks. It happened here in town about three years ago. Amazingly, I still visit the evil empire of coffee when I can't make it to my usual coffee shop. I will also preface this story with the caveat that Starbucks employees are generally the nicest, most customer oriented people ever. I wish them no ill will.

I arrived for my usual morning cup of java with my trusty insulated, stainless steel lined, spill proof, and probably not washed in the last year coffee mug. Jim, who usually went for coffee with me was next in line.

The new manager was training a new employee. The new manager was not my favorite. He had singlehandedly gotten all of his best employees to either quit or transfer to other stores. Welcome to corporate America. I asked for my coffee as usual and saw him direct the new guy to rinse my cup, then fill it up...with decaf. Well, I have been told that drinking too much regular coffee can be bad for you, but I'm gonna stick with it. Why? Because I like it. It tastes good. It makes me feel better. Besides, drinking decaffeinated coffee is like drinking non-alcoholic beer and eating iceberg lettuce: A waste of my time.

I pointed the fact that I had been poured decaf out to the manager and handed him my cup back. I watched him turn back to the coffee urn, remove the lid, and horror of horrors...

POUR MY COFFEE BACK INTO THE URN!

I was a bit stunned, to say the least. I didnt really know what to say, so I just said "You can't do that." "Do what?" he asked. Do what? Are you freaking kidding me??? How does he know what I do with my cup when it doesnt have coffee in it? Does he know that Joe the Hobo probably had a bath more recently than my coffee mug? Of course not. I looked at Jim and knew he had seen it too becasue he asked me "Did he just pour your coffee back?" "Yeah. He did."

I again pointed out to the manager that he couldn't pour coffee from my cup back into the coffee urn. His response? "I rinsed the cup out with 180 degree water. That kills everything." I responded "I don't think the Health Department would agree." He filled my coffee with regular, I paid, and Jim ordered his coffee.

Jim drinks decaf.

He was a little freaked out. I decided to not tell him about the lack of cleanliness on the part of my coffee mug. It would only bother him even more.

After the manager seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing I called Starbucks Corporate and told them the story. The customer service representative who answered listened politely and said "Thank you for calling. I'll let the area representative know." He didn't want my name, address, phone number, or anything. I guess they weren't all that concerned. Oh well, try to not think about this story too much next time your Starbucks tastes a little funny. And keep an eye on people when you get your food. You never know if the guy making it knows what he is doing.

Introductions are in order.

2006-01-11T19:17:00.000-08:00

We are based in San Diego, California, the coolest city you can't afford to live in. I can only afford it because I sold one of my roommates' kidneys on eBay. He's a really healthy guy and shouldn't miss it for a while. The group of people I hang out with is a pretty cool one. We are generally bicyclists, and mostly mountain bikers. The San Diego area is pretty decent place to ride, as long as you don't mind getting yelled at by the east county rednecks every once in a while. We have a great variety of places and different kinds of terrain to ride, and great weather to ride in. Which leads me to my first gripe:

I have been riding Specialized mountain bikes for over fifteen years. My first legitimate mountain bike was a Stumpjumper. (No offense to my parents, who got me a Ross as my first geared bike. It was cool, but it was a few years behind the power curve) I have remained truthful (Mostly... I had a Giant for 2 years and hated it, call it a trial separation) to the brand and will argue with anyone who wants to listen. Here's where I begin to have a problem with Specialized. No one who rides mountain bikes is unaware of singlespeed mountain biking. (At least I hope not. ) If you are unaware and ride often, look into it. Find a buddy who has one and ride it. Once. You will like it. I promise. It's really impossible not to. Don't even begin with the "But it's got to be slower than my geared bike" argument, cause I'm not buying. There are a lot of people who are faster on geared bikes than the average singlespeeder, but we have a name for them: Racers. And even that definition has its limitations. At a recent 24 hour race, a team riding singlespeeds placed 7th out of 37 corporate teams. All the other corporate teams were on geared, and often full suspension geared bikes.

At Interbike 2005 I approached a Specialized rep and asked him when they were planning on producing a singlespeed bike. He looked at me as if I had just suggested he eat a pile of feces. He then answered my question. I will paraphrase.

"Well, we just spent millions of dollars building full carbon Stumpjumper, FSR, and road racing bikes for this year. We don't have the time or money to waste on a niche market like singlespeed mountain bikes. We had a singlespeed and dropped it last year. No one bought it."

Nice. I forgot that the first rule of being a customer rep is to marginalize your customer's interests and try to replace them in a hamfisted manner with your own interests. What? You don't think that was a very nice, or even cordial answer on the rep's part? I agree. If I hadn't been wearing the logo of the shop I ride for, who happens to be a Specialized customer I would have laid into the guy. I just looked at him and said "Thanks" and walked off. I guess that somewhere in the millions they spent on their full carbon bikes, they lost sight of two things:

No one bought their singlespeed because it was a piece of crap. They put horizontal dropouts on their bottom line bike and called it a singlespeed. Talk about marginalizing someone's interests. Were they trying to say that singlespeeders are cheapskates and care not about quality? No one wants to buy a piece of crap at retail. We might convert an oldie but goodie to a singlespeed, but would never pay good money for that bike in a shop.

The second thing I need to address is that it doesn't cost millions to build a good singlespeed bike. If they had approached the issue of the singlespeed by adding singlespeed dropouts to a Rockhopper or Stumpjumper, they would have had a winner. Bianchi, Giant,and Kona have been doing this for years and they have a loyal following.

Are you listening Specialized? I expect to see a decent SS mountain bike at the 2006 show. Make it happen. I like you guys too much to be pushed away by one small minded rep.

That's enough griping for now. I feel better. Take care and check back often.

I have attached a photo of that 7th place team. My team.

Hi Mom!

Opening Day 2006

2006-01-06T23:47:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is. I have truly gone to the dark side and decided to publish a blog. I figured I could get back at some of the crap that gets posted on the web and post my own crap. Also, feel free to send me our cool shit and I'll post that too. More to come. I'm tired, it's late, and I have a ride to do in the morning. Oh yeah, did I mention that I like to ride bikes? Bikes are cool...